Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
