he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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