Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize