is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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