So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
