im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
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My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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