i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
