I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
