To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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