I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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