What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
