am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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