Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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