I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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