There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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