I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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