Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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