Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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