drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's blow job season.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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