you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize