did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
