as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
