I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
