apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
