fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
