he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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