I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I did not marry a roomba.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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