I wish i was in the wii world.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
