she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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