Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Randomize
