sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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