So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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