think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
