Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
tell me about the eggs
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