WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I want is dick and wine.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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