I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize