I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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