Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If its not for food we ain't going out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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