in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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