My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
