Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize