Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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