Christians are straight up FREAKS
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
