I only kidnapped one of them. chill
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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