If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
