after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
