i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
