All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
