I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
