hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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