i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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