rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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