apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
high people should be assigned attendants
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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