I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
