Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
