Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
