Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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