Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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