Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
