I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
