Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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