No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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