yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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