Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
