He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize