im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
try to milk me bitch
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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