A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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