The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize