I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
